29. Absolute Insecurity


Mike speaks with Unmani about her journey to awakening and the importance of resting with, and experiencing,  our insecurities and vulnerabilities rather than avoiding them by searching for a state of so-called ‘spiritual perfection’. Information about Unmani’s satsangs, retreats and books can be found at her website, www.not-knowing.com.

As usual, comments and questions are appreciated.

4 Responses to “29. Absolute Insecurity”

  • suki Says:

    We can’t Unknow the fact of our existence. We intrinsically Know this…but what is it actually that we know?
    I know how to make a cup of tea! Seems simple and relatively effortless. Yet compare that to performing brain surgery or the science behind the research on ‘Bosons’ at LHC. All require knowledge, cognition, memory, muscle and eye coordination,etc. There is an infinite regress of ever sublte requirements for performing any action. Whether that is chewing gum or spewing out obscenities at the tv or piloting a jet fighter. We can ONLY think we KNOW what anything actually is or at best just a superficial semantic overlay and voila! because we can label and name and partition action(s) through thought, we THINK we KNOW what they are and so therefore we KNOW what is happening…
    Ultimately we don’t know, so just relax and be what you ARE….you are doing it anyway, with or without that interloper “thought”…

    PS – Mike and Unmani you did well considering the elusive nature of the subject matter! ;)

  • tristan Says:

    First of all, i have to say that i really enjoyed this. I didnt know of Unami. I resonate strongly with her expression. And i have to admit that i usually seem to resonate more with men’s wisdom for some reason (but more with the expression of Love and openness of women). And also, in general there are just more men speaking about awakening. Some thoughts:

    I can totally relate to Mike saying : ‘ What will happen to my life if…’.  I thought i would loose myself (tristan), break ties with everyone, leave my wife, be anable to live in society, and go wonder around like a sahhu (well that would be kid of nice actually, but with a litle more comfort). Tristan is the same, minus sadness, envy, jealousy, discontent..anger still manifests at times, but i see it more as ‘wrath’. I get angry at people’s ignorance at times, and i let it be. Thats my personality. These angers are short lived and ‘skin deep’ , meaning expressed in the now and not clinged on.

    I really can relate to unmami’s  feeling of not   having  a strong sense of a cohesive whole that makes a self, as a young adult. I felt the same and quiet lost at times.

    I can see how especially the last part of her interview could triger something in someone. Reminding them that ‘thats it, thats all there is, it wont get any better than that’…that very total acceptance and surrendering is what trigers IT and cuts the burden off forever.

    And ya Mike does such a great job at reminding us that all of it is IT, including the parts that we use to judge as ‘shadow’ side.

    Thank you much.

  • Nows Nu Says:

    Hi there (which is here for you)


    Ehm.. In my experience, everything happens in it’s own sweet time.

    And it’s by experience, by going through things, I got to know stuff, I got insights. Just like Life puts this flagship (‘me’) through whatever it puts it through, it gives a sort of reward in the form of insights or awareness.

    Then I’ve experienced what it means to – for example – ‘love someone’ or ‘get a grip on things’ or ‘become enlightened’ or ‘be in charge’ or ‘medidate’ or whatever. And then I experienced all the opposites of that.
    And then I became aware of – for example – ‘I’m not in charge of anything’ or ‘to love someone means to let it be’ or ‘to become enlightened means to be enlightened’ or whatever.
    The very principle of you don’t know cold without knowing hot and vice versa.

    But I had to experience the other side. To know nonduality I had to experience duality. And it all just goes the way it should go. It’s indeed all what it is, good or bad, whatever. It’s ok, even when it’s not ok, that’s ok.. depression, death, tragedy, the lot.. winning – losing..

    I read about these things before, when I was so hungry for the truth. I wanted to know the truth and nothing but the truth..-) I read about buddism and Jezus and enlightenment and Osho and Muhammed and I read the ‘Advaita Vedanta’, among many other things. And that’s one thing. First it settles down as a ‘mental comprehension’. But I had to go through experiences of all kinds to really realize what it all means in the end, practically too, in everyday life. I sought for it in many different things, books, movies, people, experiences..
    And it all happened in it’s own sweet time. Nothing I could do about it, how much I wanted stuff or not. I just learned to let “LIfe do me”, have it’s way with me..-) Or just to have it’s way, tout court.

    PS: Interesting link to the world of Masters and slaves in any which way you want.. In the end, a true Master knows he or she is a total slave to Life. And a true slave knows Life is his or her only true Master.

  • Jacqueline Says:

    Last week my sister sent me a link to a blurb about a book, What If You Are a Horse in Human Form? (http://thehairpin.com/2011/10/has-anyone-read-what-if-you-are-a-horse-in-human-form). I’m not sure if it’s serious, but anyway it affected me strangely because I spent my childhood half-believing I was a horse in human form! (Which always amused my family.)

    A few days later I heard Unmani talk about not feeling like a person when she was young, and not knowing how to be a person. She perfectly described how I felt growing up — it was eerie. And suddenly I realized that that was why I felt so much more like an animal, and felt right and calm when I was pretending to be an animal. Watchful, listening, active, direct, simple, and cheerful, not all tangled up in person-complications.

    This, and Unmani’s beautiful, amazingly simple way of pointing to the reality of no-self, have made so much clear to me over the last few days. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I heard her (and Mike) and was illuminated — and relieved and cheered!

    Thanks so much for this and all your truly wonderful interviews. And I love when you guys just chat together, please do some more of that!

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