Arising from a coma. Sleep-walking. Memories flash painfully as a new world view is constructed. Contemplation over alternative actions that could have been taken. Revision of ideas of relationships. Redirection of life-goals. Reaffirmation of particular philosophical views of the world. Reflection upon past accolades and goals long left for alternatives which haven’t worked out. Rememberances of things long past. Renegotiation of priorities. Projection upon possible outcomes of potential relationships. Revelations of methods available at hand to reposition myself in the world. Repossession of self-importance and the insecurities that come with it. Reassociation with regretable acceptances of flaws within those that I’ve loved. Reappropriation of past beliefs. Regret and reapprasal of things said, meant, done. Recognition of failings, flaws and forgivings for sacrifices made for little return. Rejection of possible future failings.
Reconstruction sequenced. The floor cracks open, the old self is swallowed, the new self is born, as it will be for the time that is left ahead. Too human to forget. Too proud to suffer tears. Too late to alter the course that has already occurred. Too afraid of what inaction will bring. Can’t turn back – must press forward; blindly if necessary.
Don’t need to spend much more time on this theme. The sickness will come. The suffering will come. The happiness and striving and progressive thinking will come. The waisted efforts will spring forward like new leaves; but they will fall in the autumn and the seasons will bring comfort and discomfort in droves.
Love hard, work hard, live hard.