There is nothing quite like suffering that highlights the basic facts of being a human; namely the facts that we have free will, can alter our circumstances and that we are the recipients of the consequences of our actions. In short, not only does suffering compel us to act (i.e. 'get me away from this horrible stuff!') but more importantly it demands that we confront the question -- how do I act? (i.e. 'get me away from this horrible stuff such that it never comes back')

Now that's a tough question, 'how do I act?', 'what do I do?' Goodness me it's like opening up Pandora's Box! What if in avoiding some suffering it causes someone else suffering? Is there ever a circumstance in which one person should suffer more than another? Is it alright to put an issue aside for a while and experience its unpleasent nature later? Can we ignore stuff forever, or will it just cause more suffering later? Should we just dive headlong into all our problems straight away and get them over and done with? Is there an end to suffering? Should I just accept a certain background level of unpleasentness? There are two reasons why we are best not to try and deal with these questions on our own. Firstly there is the fact that there are plenty of others with heaps of experience that have faced these issues before. Secondly there is the fact that mainting open communication with others avoids the need for 'second guessing'. If we are not sure 'what we should do' or 'how we should act' then there is a point at which we find ourselves with no other option but to engage with others. Whether we like it or not there is a sense in which the primordial experience of suffering compels us to 'come out'.

Of course we don't just 'come out' if we're gay, we can 'come out' for lots of reasons, like when your friends been clearly and unusually depressed all day, you say, 'well come out with it then!'. Coming out, there's just something freeing in those words themselves, like you've been stuck in a dark cave for ages and you come out to the bright daylight. Or it could be a cage, sometimes I certainly feel like I'm trapped in a cage, and then you come out of the cage and you can run about the fields. So what is it that comes out, is it me? Is it possible to make all of myself be on the 'outside'?