Why is intimacy at once the most fulfilling and the scariest thing there is? I long for it, to somehow share my inner world, a place that so often feels a million miles from everywhere else. Yet in that rarest of situations, when I'm opened up and available to be seen in intimate detail, suddenly it doesn't seem so great. What if you find something that you think is disgusting!? What if you don't treat my most precious and sensitive insides with the same care that I take towards them (or at least try to take towards them!).
Crazily it's as if, more than anything I'm used to this inside being inside and it's just the idea of change that discomforts me. That thing that I thought "no-one understands", well maybe actually someone does! And now I can't moan about it anymore! Now, if I feel sad, I can't use that to blame the sadness on!
Then to be close though, the joy! To share myself, to be touched, to not feel alone, I know more than anything that this is why I was born :)