Records of conversations between Swami Bhag??kur?nanda and some of his visitors:


Swami Bhag??kur?nanda meets some visitors:

Visitor 1: Good morning. I have come all the way to India in order to speak to you, as i have heard you are the best Guru available. I would like to tell you how grateful i am today!
Guru: Fuck you! Get out of here!

Visitor 2: My meditation teacher has taught me how all emotions i have not dealt with are stored in my body in the form of tension and pain. One should meditate in order to deal with the stored emotions, accept the feeling of pain or discomfort, and let the toxic elements go.
Guru: True, i often let go of the stored stuff. Why don't you lay down and open your mouth and let me drop a shit in it? If you swallow it, i'll promise you'll get enlightened...

Visitor 3: Teacher. Who am i really?
Guru: You truly are a moron. Fuck off!

Visitor 4: I am so desperate, nobody cares for me and nobody loves me nor needs me. Sometimes i think about killing myself.
Guru: There is truth and untruth in what you say: the untruth is that i need you to

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transfer all your money from your account to mine. The truth is that you can kill yourself because truly, nobody cares, nor will remember.

Visitor 5: Guru: what is radical enlightenment?
Guru slaps face of Visitor.
Guru: 50 rupees please.

You have just been discovering radical enlightenment. Stop seeking, live Life.